


Sandwiches, Phones, and Hugs

by prideinperfection



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, it's so fluffy I'm gonna die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1438084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prideinperfection/pseuds/prideinperfection
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite the cold, despite the loneliness, and despite the betrayal, Cas wholeheartedly believed in his own guardian angel to see him through to the end, and that was the most beautiful thing Sam had ever seen. Sam reached out and embraced the battered soul before him. Castiel froze. The last time he had been held like that...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sandwiches, Phones, and Hugs

Cas gave a half smile and gestured to the abandoned sandwich on the table. 

 

“That PB&J taught me that angels can change, so who knows, maybe Winchesters can change, too.” 

Sam looked over at Castiel. He saw a man who had grown far too quickly. He saw the broken angel, confused, hurt, and reverent, who had given everything to raise his brother from hell. He saw Cas's soul laid bare, no grace and no walls. Despite the cold, despite the loneliness, and despite the betrayal, Cas wholeheartedly believed in his own guardian angel to see him through to the end, and that was the most beautiful thing Sam had ever seen. Sam reached out and embraced the battered soul before him. Castiel froze. The last time he had been held like that... 

Dean had stumbled down the little path by the river, and Castiel decided the look of disbelieving hope on Dean's face had been worth every ounce of suffering in that horrible place. Cas knew he was instantly forgiven for everything, but he had not understood why. He had failed Dean in so many ways; hurting Sam, killing Balthazar, not coming when he was needed. And yet, Dean had searched for him instead of a way out. Castiel loved him for it. Dean had grabbed him, held him close and held him tight. He hadn't realized it then, but Dean had clung to him so because for the first time, he'd truly felt alone when Cas had left. Perhaps he should have realized what they had together when Dean said he needed him, or when he risked his life and his only friends life to save Cas too, but Dean did that for everyone he loved. Castiel couldn’t let himself believe he was special just because he wanted to be.

 

“This is the part where you hug back.” 

Castiel blinked in surprise.

“Oh.” 

He wrapped his arms around Sam, and Sam huffed a little laugh. Castiel was still learning, after all. After a moment Sam released him, and he turned towards the door of the bunker. He paused.

“We could use all the help we can get to find Gadreel, you know.”

 

Sam looked back at Cas and smiled. Castiel knew that Sam knew how much he cared about Dean, and somehow, they were both strangely okay with it. 

 

As soon as Cas stepped out of the bunker, he slumped back against the door and sank down to the dirt. He hadn’t known that he was supposed to hug back, and now it was too late. He swallowed at the sudden dryness in his mouth. He hadn’t remembered closing his eyes, but he opened them as soon as he thought of the funny little item in his pocket. He immediately reached for the black rectangle and frowned as he recalled the only phone number he had committed to memory, his eyebrows crinkling into the concentrated furrow that they always wore when he dealt with modern technology. The phone rang twice, and Cas rested his chin on his knees. His heart was beating irrationally fast. In the middle of the third ring, Dean’s voice crackled through the speaker, concerned and confused. 

 

“Cas? What’s up?”

Cas immediately sat up.

 

“Dean!” He said, surprised and happy that the hunter had answered, but almost immediately a pained look appeared on his face as he stumbled over his thoughts. A comparative eternity of experiences and meeting people, and he still couldn’t tell Dean exactly what he wanted to say. 

“I…”

Cas stumbled again. Dean finally replied, his voice quiet in the way it only was when he said that particular word, caressing it in emotion, the motion of his lips matching the softness in his eyes in a way that was special only to that word, because that word was special to him. 

"Cas..."

At the sound of his name, Cas shook out of his nervous stupor. This was stupid. Why had he thought calling Dean would be a good idea? The hunter probably didn’t even remember that hug. Cas cringed in embarrassment and pressed the glowing red button on his phone. The embarrassment flared brightly in his cheeks and he threw the phone on the ground. He was hugging his knees to his chest and feeling slightly queasy when he heard the muffled buzzing. He glared at the stupid little box where it lay in the dirt, and reluctantly released his grip on his knees to pick up the offensive item. His breath caught in his throat as he recognized the number on the glowing screen.

“Dean?”

He asked hesitantly, after fumbling with a moment with the “accept call” button. Dean's voice was shaky and rushed.

 

"Cas, it's okay that you didn't know to hug back. It was stupid of me to have hugged you in the first place, it was clear that you wanted to be left alone. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I bothered you then, and I'm sorry that I'm a terrible friend. You deserve good friends and a happy life, and all I ever seem to do is fuck it up for you-"

 

"Dean."

 

"And I don't know why you put up with me, I'm-"

 

"Dean!"

 

Cas practically shouted over the frantic ranting. Dean fell silent. 

 

"I love you, Dean." 

 

Cas squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the phone so tightly that he thought it might shatter. He didn't realize he was biting his lip until he tasted blood in his mouth. He hardly dared to exhale as he waited for Dean to reply. Silence. Cas took a quick, tight breath.

 

"I love you Dean, that's why. I don't "put up" with you and you are not a bad friend. You are the best friend I have ever had, and you are immeasurably special to me. I would do anything for you, Dean. Please don't say those bad things about yourself." 

 

Cas heard a quiet sob. Dean was incoherent for a moment, and when he spoke, Cas had to listen closely to catch the words. 

 

"I... I love you too, Cas. I have for... So long. I th-thought you could never..." 

 

Warmth flooded Cas, and for the first time he smiled a truly happy smile.


End file.
